Job Finder

I am looking for:

Leading Your Life

Posted on: April 8th, 2013 by Brett M. Miles

You create the experience you have moment to moment. Yes, experiences don’t just happen to you. You either consciously choose your experiences or you do it unconsciously, based on reactive habit patterns and believes. The latter is the most common source of experiences. How interested are you in experiencing more fun, love, peace, and satisfaction? You have a say in that. What do you say? Here’s how to create the experiences you want.

Think of a continuum of “ways of being”. On one end is an expanded, open, unlimited way of being and on the other is a restricted, closed, limited way of being. Each “way of being” in the two columns, below, approximate the extreme cases. Where is your “center of gravity”, the focus of your energy, or the focus of your thought most of the time?

ALL human decisions are informed or influenced by where, on the continuum, a person is located in their “way of being”. How you are being matters. If you were to select a friend or a boss, notice on which side of the continuum you would prefer them to operate from.

Noticing allows choice. Notice how your prefer others to be with you. Notice how YOU are being. Give yourself the option of choosing how to be. Without choice, you are in a default mode, reacting, instead of choosing an appropriate, best response. Your default way of being works sometimes. And when it doesn’t, your leadership and individual performance suffer.

Empower yourself with choice and choose ways of being that engender followership and high performance. Your experiences depend on your commitment to noticing and choosing.

Ways of Being Ways of Being
OPEN with LOVE as opposed to CONTRACTED with FEAR
Strong, Expresses Strength Weak, Expresses Weakness
Abundant/Possibility/Unlimited Scarce/Impossible/Limits/Obstacles
Connected Disconnected
Worthy Unworthy
Complete/Adequate Incomplete/Sense of Inadequacy
Present/Focused Absent/Distracted
Trusting/Safe Distrusting/Unsafe
Courageous/Confident/Fearless Scared/Unsure/Fearful
Hopeful Despairing
Truthful/Real False/Errors/Liar/Unreal
Clear Confused
Truthful/Real False/Errors/Liar/Unreal
Clear Confused
Grateful/Appreciative Resentful/Complaining/Keeping Score
Accepting/Receiving Rejecting/Denying
Forgiving/Non-judgmental/Guiltless Condemn/Judging/Make Guilty
Responsible/Accountable Irresponsible/Unaccountable/Victim
Healing/At Ease/Effortless/Flowing Sick/Diseased/Burdening/Blocking
Gentle/Kind/Tender Abrasive/Unkind/Harsh
Serving/Contributing/Giving Impeding/Withholding/Taking

Notice, as you lead yourself and others, your general “way of being”. If you prefer to be more loving, then commit to being loving and show up that way. By “love” or “loving” I do not mean sappiness or romanticism. I mean a powerful, inspiring, connecting, intelligent and healing force that is present and operating throughout the world. Continue to notice and keep choosing loving ways of being. It’s a practice that takes courage, discipline, commitment, perseverance, and time. Make it a daily practice.

Commit to be a loving human being. Lead with love. Because humans experience the power of love and its powerful, inspiring, connecting, intelligent and healing force, they will follow those who are loving beings.

If you found this information helpful, please let us know how we can help you?

Comments are closed.

Read more from this author:

Job Seekers

Are you looking for resume help or personalized coaching? Check out our career services packages.

Student, Professional and Executive Packages: Upgrade to one of our tailored made career packages for Students at $99 per year, Professional for $299 per year and Executive for $499 per year.

Buy Now


Time for your company to get noticed by qualified industry professionals looking to their next career stop. As your premiere digital media & entertainment job site, upgrade to one of our Featured Job Posting Packages

Buy Now

You Asked We Answered

Question: I've been out of work for a while. Do I take a job offer if the pay is awful?

Answer: Yes, taking a job, sometimes any job particularly if you have not worked in a while is good not only for your paycheck but for your mental health as you search for the job you really want. There is no shame in accepting work for honest pay. You are in transition and you need to remind yourself of that and not feel bad if the job you have now or are considering isn't willing to pay you what you are worth. There will be a job out there that will and you need to use all of your resources available including interim work to realize your goals. Taking a low paying job in the meantime may bruise your ego but it won't kill your pride or your wallet.