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Leading Your Life

Posted on: April 8th, 2013 by Brett M. Miles

You create the experience you have moment to moment. Yes, experiences don’t just happen to you. You either consciously choose your experiences or you do it unconsciously, based on reactive habit patterns and believes. The latter is the most common source of experiences. How interested are you in experiencing more fun, love, peace, and satisfaction? You have a say in that. What do you say? Here’s how to create the experiences you want.

Think of a continuum of “ways of being”. On one end is an expanded, open, unlimited way of being and on the other is a restricted, closed, limited way of being. Each “way of being” in the two columns, below, approximate the extreme cases. Where is your “center of gravity”, the focus of your energy, or the focus of your thought most of the time?

ALL human decisions are informed or influenced by where, on the continuum, a person is located in their “way of being”. How you are being matters. If you were to select a friend or a boss, notice on which side of the continuum you would prefer them to operate from.

Noticing allows choice. Notice how your prefer others to be with you. Notice how YOU are being. Give yourself the option of choosing how to be. Without choice, you are in a default mode, reacting, instead of choosing an appropriate, best response. Your default way of being works sometimes. And when it doesn’t, your leadership and individual performance suffer.

Empower yourself with choice and choose ways of being that engender followership and high performance. Your experiences depend on your commitment to noticing and choosing.

Ways of Being Ways of Being
OPEN with LOVE as opposed to CONTRACTED with FEAR
Strong, Expresses Strength Weak, Expresses Weakness
Abundant/Possibility/Unlimited Scarce/Impossible/Limits/Obstacles
Connected Disconnected
Worthy Unworthy
Complete/Adequate Incomplete/Sense of Inadequacy
Present/Focused Absent/Distracted
Trusting/Safe Distrusting/Unsafe
Courageous/Confident/Fearless Scared/Unsure/Fearful
Hopeful Despairing
Truthful/Real False/Errors/Liar/Unreal
Clear Confused
Truthful/Real False/Errors/Liar/Unreal
Clear Confused
Grateful/Appreciative Resentful/Complaining/Keeping Score
Accepting/Receiving Rejecting/Denying
Forgiving/Non-judgmental/Guiltless Condemn/Judging/Make Guilty
Responsible/Accountable Irresponsible/Unaccountable/Victim
Healing/At Ease/Effortless/Flowing Sick/Diseased/Burdening/Blocking
Gentle/Kind/Tender Abrasive/Unkind/Harsh
Serving/Contributing/Giving Impeding/Withholding/Taking
   

Notice, as you lead yourself and others, your general “way of being”. If you prefer to be more loving, then commit to being loving and show up that way. By “love” or “loving” I do not mean sappiness or romanticism. I mean a powerful, inspiring, connecting, intelligent and healing force that is present and operating throughout the world. Continue to notice and keep choosing loving ways of being. It’s a practice that takes courage, discipline, commitment, perseverance, and time. Make it a daily practice.

Commit to be a loving human being. Lead with love. Because humans experience the power of love and its powerful, inspiring, connecting, intelligent and healing force, they will follow those who are loving beings.


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